1/13 Daily Total

I reallllyyy had to try hard today not to eat too much. My co-workers and I all went to subway so I was standing there and all I could think was “Ohhhh I should have a tuna sub” Uhh YEAH RIGHT – little Ana told my brain and finally I resisted. I also have such a WEAK spot for their cookies but I just walked right on by. I did ok – just still needing to stay on track.

I have to walk by a Mrs Fields on my way home and all I could think about was one of those choc chip cookie sandwiches with the tasty icing in between them, UGH. So good. But again, I was strong. I must be getting my period or something because these cravings have been out of control. Today was supposed to be a 600 day but I started to feel weird about it after my big lunch – so I decided to knock off 100 cals and just make it a 500 day.

Lunch:
6 inch turkey sub (w/cheese) from Subway (just pickles and lettuce) : 320 cals: 8 fat
1 32 oz fountain diet coke
Total: 320 cals: 8 fat

Dinner:
1 Red Delicious Apple: 80 cals: 0 fat
1 100 cal pack Lorna Doone shortbread cookies: 100 cals: 3 fat
Total: 180 cals: 3 fat

TOTAL FOR THE DAY: 500 cals: 11 fat

I’m not super happy with the 11 grams of fat- I really like to keep that below 10 but I just have to think most of it was from the sub, which I was practically forced to eat. So I just have to let it go.

Work has been so super busy lately but I did have a good conversation with my boss today about my progress and he said he was really happy with the work I’ve been doing – so PHEW that is a good thing!

Side note: TWO random men said to me in a creepy way on my way home “You’re beautiful” and kept on walking. Like within 3 minutes of each other. The lady beside me laughed each time and I looked at her after the second guy and was like – “Do I have something on my face or something?” It was such a weird moment but also felt so nice on my walk home to have that. I know some girls act like they hate getting cat-called at but we all know that we LOVE it!

I can tell my body has been in ketosis lately because it always makes my breath smell not so fresh…anyone have some cal free ways to make it better??

Ughhhh

Why do boys like me and want to take me to dinner?? He kept asking and he’s realllyyy cute so I didn’t want to say no – so off I went. I barely ate anything of my salad but there is no way I was under 200, so I’, calling it a 400 -600 day.

AND I’m supposed to go out tonight too. I need to have soup or salad ONLY or something. I guess it will be a freaking 600 day again. I hate myself and my stupid social life.

Let’s Dance, Let’s Shout!

Ahhhh finally back on track! I wore my new leather jacket again this morning and it is definitely looser today than it was when I wore it on Friday – so YAY for that!

Lunch:
 6 strawberries: 12 cals: 0 fat
2 hard boiled egg whites: 34 cals: .2 fat
1 32 oz fountain diet coke
Total: 46 cals: .2 fat

Dinner plan:
6 Thin Ham Slices
2 mini pickle spears
1 Mini Babybel Cheddar
Water

Can we just talk about how delicious fountain diet coke is? It leaves me SO satisfied and I can’t even explain why. Is it the cup? The ice? The straw? All in all, it might be my new favorite food.

More and more people are reading this blog, but not a lot of you are commenting – please say hi! I’m nice 🙂

Pick up the phone…

I still talk to you sometimes. Wonder what you’d say in return to something funny I see or something that breaks up my day. It can be a song, a picture, a smile on a kids face and immediately you are right next to me. I realized this morning that I am starting to forget what your voice sounded like. It’s been almost 11 months since we last spoke and yet sometimes I have to fight the urge with ALL that I have to not call you just to hear the sound of your voice. It’s how we started afterall – miles separating us, tethered together only by the millions of hours we spent together on the phone.

But now you’re just this figment that haunts my mind, day after day. Silent witness to my many accomplishments and my many mistakes.

You’ve moved on…of that I’m almost sure. I did too for a little while but it’s funny how it always seems to come back to you. You weren’t even that nice to me the last 6 months but my heart still skipped a beat when I saw you and when you held me close, it was all I could do not to cry. I knew the world, our world, so shakily built on a sand foundation, was crashing down around us and I really didn’t know what else to do except run from the fall out.

I wonder if you think of me fondly? If you see panda bear stuff and smile. If you watch The Notebook and remember that first night. If you still reach for me in the darkness. I wonder if you pick up the phone too…

1/10 Daily Total

Back on track! Ugh, as sad as I was to cancel brunch today – it was really the right choice. My intake was ONLY an apple and some water so I’m feeling light and clean and ready to start my week back at work.

Lunch/Dinner:
1 cup apple slices: 53 cals: .1 fat
Water
TOTAL : 53 cals: .1 fat

I can do this! I cannnn do this! Tomorrow I’ll stick to 200 cals but make sure I’m getting some protein too.

1/9 Daily Total

Last night ended epically badly eating wise.  I can’t even tally the amount but I had at least 10 carrots with either hummos or tomato cream cheese salsa on them PLUS like 10 pita chips with the same PLUS these little rice creacker bits PLUS a slice of pizza. I think my mouth was actually getting tired from chewing it all! I’m guessing cals came in around 1,000-1,500. GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I had a great time though is the sad part. And as guilty as I was feeling about some of  the food it was lovely to see some of those girls and really get a chance to talk. On a different note, because of last nights ridiculousness I have decided to ONLY eat an Apple and some Diet Coke today. I canceled brunch with a friend for just these purposes because I WILL get back on track! At worst, if I feel like I desperately need to, I will have some Tomato soup that comes in around 120 cals but there is NO going over 150 today.

Ugh I love weekends because I don’t have to work but I also HATE them because of all the food stuff.

Anybody with me?

Dance like nobody is watching…

So girls night tonight is on for sure and get this…they want to ORDER PIZZA! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy??!! UGH mother fucker. I guess I’ll see if I can bring some hummus and pita to the party or something so I don’t have to eat it.

Lunch:
1 cup apple slices: 53 cals: .1 fat
Water
TOTAL : 53 cals: .1 fat

Dinner plan:
Either 1 slice cheese pizza (no crust)
OR
1 tbsp hummus and 2 pita chips

Whatever I do, I need to be in control. No mindless snacking! Hopefully this apple will tide me over until 7pm. They will all be drinking but I think I’m just going to have some Diet Sprite and pretend to put vodka in it. Stoli Blueberi vodka has SIXTY calories per ounce an UGH that is just something I can’t handle right now. Especially with the hamburger guilt still weighing on my mind and I’m sure my ass!

1/8 Daily Total

Went to dinner at a gourmet burger place and I ordered off the kids menu. I pretended it was to save money because the cost is a literally half of that their regular burgers are. It came with fries and I tried not to eat them but ugh, they are my weakness for sure. I know I saved all my calories today for this and even though I’m saying it was 600 calories, I actually think it was around 400-500 cals because I ate so few fries and the burger was maybe the size of the “o” if you make the “ok” symbol with your hand.

Lunch:

Water
Total: 0 cals:  fat

Dinner :
1 mini burger with cheddar cheese
18 french fries
1 32 oz diet coke
Total: 600 cals: 8 fat

DAILY TOTAL: 600 cals: 8 fat

I just kinda feel gross now and I really HATE that I don’t know how many exact calories I consumer. I mean the burger was TEENY but still, why can’t all restaurants just put the exact damn calories on the menu. Tomorrow I have a girls night in with some friends and the hostess is making food and I offered to bring some wine and I also think I’m going to try and make a low calorie appetizer so I can eat something. I think I’ll just stick to water and say I’m hungover or something. I know it’s supposed to be an 800 day but after I feel THIS gross – I think I’ll try to keep it to 500 or 600.

*achoo* *cough* *snort*

Ugh, there is something gross going around my office so I’m home sick today. If anything, it was nice to get some extra sleep because I woke up around noon, did a little work, took a shower and now I’m blogging and plan on going to Subway later for a diet coke but that’s it for lunch. I’m going to go to the movies by my apt later with my friend S, so I’d bet we’ll go to dinner or something so I want to make sure I keep all 600 cals for then.

1/7 Daily Total

Lunch:
1 cup strawberries (halved) : 49 cals: .5 fat
3 mini Splenda packets: 0 cals: 0 fat
1 32 oz fountain diet coke : 0 cals: 0 fat
Total: 49 cals: .5 fat

Dinner :
Dinner plan:
2 98% FF turkey dogs (no bun): 80 cals: 1 fat
Mustard: 3 cals: 0 fat
SF pudding: 60 cals: 1 fat
Water
Total: 143 cals: 2 fat

DAILY TOTAL: 192 cals: 3.5 fat

As good as the strawberries were today, I was REALLY hungry when I got home today.  I think I have to include some kind of protein or else my body gets pissed.

I also had to walk past this mexican place (my biggest weakness besides french fries) and I swear I almost gave in but I just thought about the new dress I’m promising myself when I drop a size or two! Fashion is often my thinspiration. Hope you all had a great day today!

What is your biggest food weakness?